TriXie: I know not all of you are offenders, but working at Microsoft I see a host of summer sins that I’d like to go away. Denim shorts. Just don’t do it. Girls can do it–in fact I frequently bust out the Daisy Dukes–but men can NOT. It’s unsightly and dorky and we girls beg you to just throw them away. I have even seen an occasional hottie wear those and so clearly even the best of you need to be educated.

Do you honestly think that the level of my sexiness can be changed based off the type of shorts I wear? That’s like arguing that 0 Kelvin would feel much colder than 50 Kelvin, if you were in the freezer or something: my sexiness level ain’t ramping up because of shorts selection. In fact, it probably ratchets up a good notch or three just because I’m wearing pants at all… Give up my Levi’s?

I will not comply!