Reuters: A Los Angeles man who sneaked into Canada in February to see his Internet girlfriend will be deported — minus all his fingers and some of his toes, the Winnipeg Sun newspaper reported Tuesday.

You won’t believe the rest of the article… simply put, he hopped on a bus in California and crossed the border in Manitoba. Problem is his girlfriend is in Quebec, so he missed the proper province by 1600 miles. Add to this the fact that he couldn’t cross the border legally because he robbed a Pizza Hut in Arkansas …in 1984.

That’s a man that’s hard up for a woman… of course now that he’s losing his fingers from frost bite, he’s going to need a woman, seeing as “self service” is no longer an option for the guy.

Poor bastard.