Having been to the gym more often these days, this is no idle thread.

I did not pre-order an iPhone today. I planned to. I wanted to. In fact, there’s nothing more irritating than trying to give someone money for a product and you have to jump through hoops before they let you. As you can guess, AT&T got involved in the transaction. It’s easy to be pissed at AT&T but I’m even more enraged that Apple continues to stick with the most inefficient wireless carrier in the states. They are to the wireless industry what the New York Knicks are [currently] to the NBA. About as useful as teets on a bull.

Here’s how today went.

First, you can’t get your order into the Apple store. Gotta expect that given the load, right? Wrong. This is the fourth iPhone model you’ve offered on your network and/or via your mobile store. How can you not have prepared for this?

Fine. I eventually got into the store with my number and AT&T eventually returned my status. I could buy the iPhone 4 now for $599, if I so desired. If I wait until November, it’s $399. If I wait until February, it’s $199.

Knowing that I bought the 3GS last June, my response was simple: WHAT THE FUCK?!

So I stomped over to the nearest AT&T store and said, “Uh, what the hell?” Using a standard calendar, I kicked off a 2 year contract with AT&T in June 2009. That means that I should have the “screwed with a dry condom” price of $399 in June 2010 and the “shiny happy price” of $199 in June 2011. First question is a) why am I getting the “sandpaper condom” price of $599 now and b) what the hell is with November and February for milestones? and c) why is this a problem when the phone doesn’t ship until the end of June when I am eligible?

AT&T doesn’t know. The best they could tell me was I need to wait four days until my “actual” anniversary. Now how this works out, I have no idea. It doesn’t explain the November bit, at all. The best they could say on February was that a 2 year contract is actually 18 months. Which doesn’t add up either, mathematically. So now I have to wait to order.

On top of that, after all the dust has settled from the sales carnage, the “Delivered by 24th” has become “Shipped by July 2nd, Delivered July 6-8th” followed by a “No, you can’t get faster shipping” which will throw the deal I had going with Gazelle into danger… which means that before long, I’ll be on an Ericsson T68 or SMT5600, the last GSM phones that I have in the house.

I swear that AT&T, with help from Apple, can fuck up a wet dream.

So now I’m really considering not buying one. I have a 3GS, so I get all of the software features with iOS 4. Sure, I miss out on the hardware upgrades – which I do want, make no mistake on that – but if I wait three months, I get it $200 cheaper. And lets face it: the shortage for this phone will last until August at least. By then, maybe the JDF will have lost its effect on me, and I can wait another four months until February, when it is $400 cheaper. If I really push the Geek limit, and hold out until next June, I can reset the contract with iPhone 5.

Likely? Hardly. My guess is that I’ll have to cancel the Gazelle sale, order it for shipment in mid to late July – or stalk Apple stores constantly (ugh) – and end up spending way too much on the hardware either way…

Fuck it.

I’ma order a new Xbox 360 S and get it on time, without all this crap.