I have to ask the question: are all Boston fans inbred? Is there any other possible explination for them and how they act in public? We’ve had lively debates on this blog before about the Red Sox and the Yankees, but I feel that I’ve turned a corner on the issue… I still dislike the Red Sox – yet I can still say some nice stuff about most of their players: Manny’s bat, Veritek’s heart, Ortiz’s fat ass power to the corners – but I’ve been driven to the point of dispising every single fan of the ball club.

You. Yes, you. The fuckwad with the red B on your hat. You’ve driven me to this stage of baseball fandom. You’ve given me no choice. You’re the most self destructive fan that cannot handle losing. Worse, you can’t even handle winning. You’ve grown so used to being the underdog that now that you’ve become a supporter for a mediocre team – yes, 6 WS out of 102 years is mediocre – and you’ve turned into a collection of whiny, no class winners.

It’s been a hard winter for me. It seems that everywhere I look there’s been a red B in my face. Most of the time it’s been a bandwagon jumper – “What’s a Yaz,” I actually heard a “fan” say – but those aren’t the people that have driven me to such hatred. It’s the die hard Bostonians that need to get out entirely out of baseball.

I went to a Mariners vs Yankees game during a Yankee series at Safeco. For every two M’s fan that I saw, there was at least one Yankees fan to match them in attendance… We have a large draw in almost every city, mostly thanks to Jeter’s face and A-Rod salary. [Well, there’s not much draw in Seattle for A-Rod: he’s still heavily booed when he’s on the field for any reason – other former M’s like Tino, Luis Sojo, and Randy Johnson get an occasional clap or two; A-Rod is a ligthening rod for Seattle angst.] I noticed a couple of Boston hats, but almost every ball club was represented there thoughout the stands – don’t know why that is – so it wasn’t too surprising to see it.

As the game went on, and the Yankees took the lead, I noticed that we were standing near the bullpens, which are open to the fans on one side. I said “Whoa! Here’s a chance to go and see Mariano warm up!” so my friend and I ran down the stairs to join the growing crowd. What do I see at the fence? A four pack of Red Sox fans in full Red Sox garb.

What the fuck is this crap about? The Red Sox just lost two outta the last three games played at Safeco Field and were in the process of losing to Oakland – were these jamokes a day late for a game? No! As it quickly became obvious, they were there to taunt the Yankees bullpen, as Red Sox fans. Are you fuckin kidding me? Did I become an M’s fan for the 72 hours that the Sox played the M’s? Hells yeah, I did. If I went to one of those games, I woulda been there in full M’s fan gear, because by supporting the local team, I would also be supporting my team in their division race. Of all the Boston hats I saw, a strong number of them were also wearing M’s sweatshirts: Red Sox fans that want to see the Yankees lose by the M’s hands, which would help their ball club in their division.

That’s acceptable to me: you’re there to support the local team because you want to see the visiting team lose. Even in May, there’s a penant to be won and the AL East race is always tight – it’s about the game. It’s also a great analogy to modern politics in the US: you vote for this Presidential candidate because you dislike him less than you do the other candidate. As I’ve asked before, why would you go to a ball game supporting a team that isn’t even playing there? Much less show up in another team’s uniform to taunt a visiting team? It’s like showing up to a Clinton rally with a Tony Blair for PM shirt or something. *sigh*

So there’s three people and a kid there, as part of this Boston group. Guy in front of me is in an all red Red Sox pull-over and is yelling his fool head off at Sturtze, who’s warming up in the ‘pen. Some of his comments were actually funny – “Hey, Sturtze! I want to thank you and George for getting me this [Red Sox Championship] hat last year!” – but after a few minutes of constant harassment, it got annoying. After a full seven minutes, it was old. A King County sheriff comes over eventually and says to Red Guy, “Hey, I need ya to let up on them… I mean you can shout out stuff at them, but ya gotta give’m a break here and there – they’ll eventually complain and I’ll have to clear out the hallway”. Red Guy says “Oh… OK.”

This gets the other guy going. Yet another Boston fan that’s wearing a fucked up T-Shirt and a hat that had both a Patriots AND Sox logo on it; he starts his bellowing with “what the fuck is his problem?” in the direction of the cop that was walking away.

At this point I need to mention that the third member of this moronic field trip is an eight year old, who’s been sitting on the ground, watching Sturtze throw. Alright, not my kid, so fuck the language bit, right? *shrug* Weird Shirt Guy continues with “oh, what bullshit – this cop’s an asshole! There’s usually another guy here that works this area, blah blah blah”.

As the cop continued to walk away from the fence, and past me, another Sox fan – green hat/red B – says “Hey, what’s the problem?” The cop explains that the pitchers will eventually get annoyed and complain to security, which leads to the cop getting a call to clear out the hallway… Rather than do that, if Red Hat lightens up a bit, the cop won’t have to do anything. Green Hat says, “Oh, what, they can’t take the comments out here? *laugh*” I lean over to the cop and say, “Well, do you blame them? They’re used to getting jumped by the staff in the Fenway bullpen not to mention the Boston fans… I don’t blame’m for complaining at all!”

Green Hat sees the NY on my hat, and the grey New York jersey, and shoots this look at me like I had just set his leg on fire, had sex with his wife, stole his dog, and then peed on his leg to put the fire out. No lie. There was a lot of emotion in that one look. The cop busted out laughing – remembering the whole ‘pen incident in Boston – and started talking to Green Hat as he walked them both away from the fence.

I look over to the other end of the bullpen, and see Rivera stretching in the corner. Directly in my field of vision is the last chick that filled out the quartet, also in a Red Sox jacket, and holding a “Red Sox Victory” type book up to the fence for the Yankees pitchers to see.

Can you believe it? I saw it and I don’t want to believe it… I somehow knew the majority of the Sox fans were like this, but it’s hard to see a reminder in living color. Some of the fans might hide it better than others, but it seems to come out of all of them at some point. It can’t be the same handful of people that throw beer or batteries at Yankees players during games. Or taunt them in the bullpen. Or shove our right fielder during a close-to-the-wall play. I never, in my wildest dreams, thought that I’d have to deal with this Red Sox stupidity in a stadium that wasn’t in NY or MA. Never. Why would I? The Yankees would never play the Sox in Safeco, right? I should have known better. And it single handedly kills off that “only a few bad fans cause all this trouble” theory.

On the ride home, my friend asked me “why do they behave like that towards the Yankees?” If it was 2003 or earlier, I could have given a simple answer: jealousy and frustration since they haven’t won a WS since 1918, and the Yankees have won 26 since then. I could have cited specific examples of course… Like the ’03 Boone HR. Or the ’86 World Series. Or the ’78 Bucky Dent HR. Or the ’78 Boston Massacre. Or the ’20 Sale of Babe Ruth. The old answer was since they’ve always been underdogs that feel it’s their responsibility to rally against the overdogs.

But in 2005, I can’t give a simple answer to this question. They won the Series last year and had to stage what some people call the best comeback ever in all of sports [I reserve that label for the Yankees coming back from a 14 game hole of which the Boston Massacre – a four game sweep in Fenway – was a part of]. The Red Sox aren’t the underdogs anymore. Their fans have no excuse to behave like this. The idiots last night: they were trying to rub the fact that they won in the face of the team that they crushed to get there… There’s no excuse for that in a non-NY or non-MA venue.

Has there ever been a bigger group of “bad winners”? I mean there’s bad losers that taunt other fans, but to disrespect Safeco like this? At least have the decency to wear Mariner’s star-compasses, if you want to trash the other team – give the M’s their due respect. When you behave like this, you’re only trashing yer own ball club… it makes me believe that you don’t deserve to have the Chamionship title. You aren’t worthy. You aren’t even good fans… after seeing what I saw tonight I even have to question if you’re good people; a year ago I might have thought so, but now I’m not too sure.

They’re all just so damned defective, it’s scary.