When? Such a simple question, yet in this instance there seems to be no easy answer. Time is a tricky business but I’m only asking for a single point in time to be named for a very simple event. When? I ask it of a department of my state government – a learned group of people that are mathematical scholars and engineers – and these are the people to ask when concerning a question involving four dimensions; only scientists can truly appreciate the nuances of Time. When? I don’t ask it of historians because this question is about our present and eludes to the future; the past isn’t applicable to my question. My question is simple in nature but unanswerable in this reality: When can I drive on Interstate 95 without getting stopped in traffic?

It’s a paradox, to be sure. The corridor of Stamford to Milford has become a ridiculous stretch of highway. It’s been bad for a while, but now it’s begun to defy the undeniable science of physics. You see, I grew up in Connecticut, in a town that’s two removed from 95. My parents grew up in a time when 95 wasn’t an Interstate – according to family lore, it was already being built in Bridgeport as an inter-town expressway. This is why there’s so many exists on the Stamford/Milford corridor, actually: it wasn’t designed to be an Interstate road until the federal government took control of it, made it three lanes, and connected it to Rhode Island and New York. Consequently, I guess it’s no surprise that parts of it are being “evaluated” for redesign.

But that’s history and it doesn’t answer my question of When? It only offers a possible explanation of the traffic that brings 95 to a halt on a daily basis: a poorly designed road. 95 was annexed as an Interstate over 50 years ago, though, so if this was in fact a problem, why hasn’t it been fixed yet? No one can answer that. One of the latest blames of the traffic has been attributed to the excess of exits and entrance ramps. Valid point, I suppose, give that most major highways go for a few miles without an exit, like the Mass Pike which has an average of ten miles between exits. Also, because CT drivers have a problem with merging into traffic from an entrance ramp, it might help. But still, will this fix the problem?

We might not ever know, actually. People are in an uproar about having exits near them close. Consequently the effort to block some exist has been blocked for a while now.

Then there’s the simple fact that there’s more cars on the road than ever before. Having grown up near New York City, it’s a well known fact that if there’s a lot of cars on the road, traffic slows. Either because of a couple of slower-than-normal drivers that make everyone slow down or because of an unexpected delay, it’s hard to tell. In most cases, there’s something different every day. An old car breaks down, an accident, a blown tire – whatever it is, it consistently slows down traffic for everyone. It’s sad, but not only is it true in the grid of Manhattan but it’s also true of the Stamford/Milford corridor of 95. If it’s an accident, everyone in the remaining five lines of traffic has to stop and look as they drive by. Same thing with a broken down car that is older than the driver. I also believe there’s a pack of cars that heads southbound at 6am and northbound at 3pm that is put on the road to slow traffic every rush hour. Either way, this is another problem. Obstructs to traffic that cause problems every day of the year.

On top of the “normal” issues of too many cars, too many exists, bad merging drivers, accidents, broken down cars, and slow drivers, there’s something extra to this 35 miles stretch of highway… construction. While there’s no clear answer (or hope) of fixing 95, there seems to be countless hours spent on construction. Right now, there’s a lane closed during random hours while a “new” mid-lane barrier is constructed for a part of the highway. This is what causes problems in the off hours of 95; this will tie up the road between the morning and night rush hours and between the night and morning rush hours. They shut down lanes during the day; they close more lanes during the night. It’s not to improve on the roads and make them better, either: this construction is being done to keep the roads at the same level of repair. The closed lanes cause the same amount of delays that all of the other problems do except at hours when the road should be free and clears.

When? Between the increase of cars, the normal delays of stupid drivers, the abnormal delays of drivers that can’t pass an accident without gawking, the ongoing maintenance related construction and the poorly designed highway, the simple answer is never. If it’s the morning or afternoon of a weekday, there’s the typical rush hour. If it’s a weekday night, there’s always construction that starts at 7pm, which is about when the volume of rush hour traffic clears. This construction – particularly the type that closes at least one lane – isn’t cleared until 5am the next morning, which is when the morning rush hour starts to build it’s volume. So this knocks out 95 for Monday through Friday. What about the weekends? I have no idea what causes the issues on Saturday and Sunday but I can promise you this: you are traveling northbound will slow to a halt at exits 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 26, 27, and 27A every single weekend day. Southbound traffic slows at 27, 24, 18, 15, 14, 9, 8, and 2. There’s no active construction. No slow driver pack, because the delays run all day and night. No believable congestion because it is the weekend. Yet it happens.

As I said earlier, this question is about the present. I want When? to be answered now because I know the situation will not improve. Scientists have already figured out that if the volume of traffic continues at the current rate, by 2010 it will take eight hours to go from Bridgeport to Stamford if you left Bridgeport at 8am. I have no reason to disbelieve this because it takes up to two hours now if it’s cloudy out. Two and a half if it rains.

The governments response to this is “take mass transit”. Know what? Screw you. The government doesn’t get to tell me what mode of transportation to take. Not when it’s their responsibility to keep the roads working. Do you think Rome told it’s citizens “oh, if the road isn’t working, take the gladiator public-use chariot?” Um, no. The government is tasked with keep roads working – they can’t say “oh, take something else to get to work” because traffic is too bad. Of course, the only decision that the state government has made, regarding the traffic problem, was to declare the Merritt Parkway a historical site which protects it from ever being widened or improved upon. The people that came up with this faboo declaration need to be forced to drive from Bridgeport to Stamford every day for a week; I think it would be quickly over turned.

When? *sigh* such a simple and yet unanswerable question…