I swear that more people read this web site everyday. How do I know this? Because I see some of my “views” randomly appear in the news almost every week. This time it’s not a direct correlation, but it’s pretty freakin’ close. What’s the Rant of today? Oreos versus California.

This ties into the Rant about IHOP in that it concerned people that are overweight and want to blame someone other than themselves. Actually, the problem as I see it is that all of the courts and lawyers in California need to be abolished and cast into the ocean. That would take care the cause of at least 25% of the Rants that I have with the legal system my country. Remember the McDonald’s I-spilled-coffee-on-my-lap-because-I-didn’t-know-it-was-hot woman? She’s the reason why there’s a “Caution” label on every coffee cup in America right now. I believe that was a CA case. The pledge of allegiance lawsuit? CA. The OJ trial? You know where it was tried. There were a couple of other things that have floated around the news lately that seem to deal with the CA legal system, much less the whole LSD/Flower Power movement of the 60’s that I believe we could have done without.

What’s the latest from CA? Some cockgobbler wants to take Oreos off the market. That’s right! This lawyer, who’s admittedly eaten Oreos for years, is suing Kraft Foods because he claims Oreos include an inedible and dangerous ingredient. I wouldn’t have believed it myself, but MSNBC has published an initial article about it – they get into the details about the case.

Can you believe this crap? I mean at least this guy isn’t taking the “they made me fat” road, like the guy that sued McDonald’s for obesity. He’s complaining about a type of fat in the cookies that he didn’t know could be harmful. Now that he knows about it, he’s basically trying to tell the rest of the world about it to “save them” from themselves. Never mind that most people know that an excess of Oreos would be a health risk from sugar and fat alone. Please ignore the fact that people have been eating these cookies for almost 90 years and there’s been no specific problem known to be caused by them.

All of these lawsuits personally make ill. It tells Americans that we are no longer tasked with having to follow our own common sense. It tells us that we can act like morons and get rich via a tort system that rewards people for their moronic behavior – provided they file suit in California. It’s a crock of shit is what it is. There’s only one lawsuit that I would like to see filed and that’s with regards to cigarette makers, and that’s for a specific reason.

Tobacco companies have claimed that if people use cigarettes in a moderate manner, there are no harmful physical effects; it’s only when the cigarettes are abused that they can cause harmful side effects. This is a lie, in my opinion, but fine; let’s believe this theory for now. The problem I have with cigarettes is that they are grown and manufactured to be more addictive than they have to be. This means that people that smoke are biologically conditioned to want more cigarettes than they would normally. In most cases people are forced to smoke more beyond what is considered moderate usage and this is what causes medical problems. And to this end, I hold the government responsible for allowing companies to manufacture dangerous products. In fact, the nicotine – the chemical that is increased to promote the addiction – is a pesticide; the government allows an artificially increased amount of poison to be used in these products! If tobacco is to be sold, it either needs to be made with less nicotine to allow for this “moderate” and safe usage, or the makers of them need to be removed from the government’s protective umbrella that has provided safety all these years. And I still don’t believe that any one person should be allowed to sue a tobacco company. There’s no secret about smoking being harmful and addictive, so if a person chooses to smoke, they are on their own. Part of that whole common sense thing that so many people in CA are being asked to ignore.

In any event, this puts of a lawyer needs to be beat in the town square before the lawsuit can go to trial. Just because this fucknut is afraid of certain kinds of fat, why should the rest of us have to suffer? Maybe he should just not eat the Oreos! How much do you want to bet that he’s got at least two packages in his pantry right now?

Someone should at least put BenGay in his skivvies… at least he would then have a reason to dance around the court room, instead of wasting our time with suck inane cases.