I’ve recently formed a new stereotype in my mind’s eye that I felt like sharing… Maxima drivers. They all suck. And I mean suck bad. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed? I can’t tell if there’s a 90% blind spot around the car, or if the drivers choose not to look. I haven’t figured out if it’s the overloading of horsepower in the engine or there’s some type of airborne pollen in the car’s climate control system that make the drivers drive too fast or just completely recklessly. I don’t know. Maybe they screened people in high school gym classes and that’s the group the Nissan targets.

I always love how stereotypes are only important when the people that are included in the group don’t like it. Ever wonder why there’s never been a “Movement” by men because we’re all lumped into a “You don’t listen to me and why can’t you put the seat down”? We don’t care. It has no baring on our lives, so why complain? Besides, it’s mostly true – how else does a cliche become a cliche in the first place? In most cases there’s some truth there.

The preamble had a point, trust me. I’ve recently formed a new stereotype in my mind’s eye that I felt like sharing… Maxima drivers. They all suck. And I mean suck bad. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed? I can’t tell if there’s a 90% blind spot around the car, or if the drivers choose not to look. I haven’t figured out if it’s the overloading of horsepower in the engine or there’s some type of airborne pollen in the car’s climate control system that make the drivers drive too fast or just completely recklessly. I don’t know. Maybe they screened people in high school gym classes and that’s the group the Nissan targets.

What leads me to this? I’ve seen it. I’ll bet you 10 to 1 that if you’re on a highway on a rainy night, doing 75, and you get passed in the right light by a blur of headlights doing 90, it was a Maxima. Cut off on an expressway, close enought to almost trading paint? Maxima. Just this weekend, I was in a three lane section of a road and I watch a newer model stop in the left lane and put her right blinker on. I slowed to a stop b/c I know what these people can do but you don’t know what they’re going to do. This Maxima then cuts across my lane, over to the right most lane and gets off the road, cutting off the guy in the right lane who wasn’t smart enough to give the Maxima a wide birth.

They are a menace, in fact. The whole blurb about the stereotype had to be included because God knows I would get spammed if I just came out with an opinion. We aren’t allowed to have those anymore, it seems. We are supposed to be this tree hugging, politically correct society now. Well, not in my writing. Anyway, back to the point – the bright side of all these moronic drivers driving Maximas means that they are easily identifiable. If you see one, back away nice and slow, and watch the NASCAR-esque show that will occur if you give them enough road.

Oh, and for the record, I drive German so you have no worries from me – you may consider the rest of this a public service warning…